Hey guys, Vim here. Back for another post!
Before going any further, it's my birthday!...in 3 days Lol. I have nothing planned, so I'm trying to look up stuff to do. Maybe I'll take a trip to the beach or a museum. Anyhow, I just want to do something and also not think about anything. No worries about school, Star, friends, etc. It's gonna be a complete day off for me. My mom asked me if I wanted to cut cake with them, but as you know, I don't have the best relationship with my family, so I politely declined. She did, however, say they know I'm mostly struggling financially, so they'll be sending me money as a gift, hehe. Which reminds me I need to get my car oil changed...ugh. I think I'll give you guys a gift too. Maybe a post explaining about my ex, but we'll see. It could be my final send-off for these lingering/buried feelings I have for her. I might post a picture of a dessert I'm having to celebrate.
I've got some good news. I got a good score on that literature analysis assignment. Although I did get a point subtracted because I didn't elaborate on my last claim, but I sent an expanded version, so maybe I can regain that last point. I did a test for my U.S. Government class this week and got a good score, but I want to retake it because the score isn't up to my standards. The test is open-book, so it's not too much of a bother. I do, however, have an in-class on-paper exam for my Communications class next week, which I'm a bit nervous about. But it's fully multiple choice, so I'm not gonna have to perform mental gymnastics to sound smart.
I've done most of the background checks for the Radiography program, and nearly all of them have been accepted, so no issue there. Although the clinical stuff is kind of annoying. I can't do the physical exam until I get the tuberculosis situation sorted, which I did this week, but now I need to drive back to this farther clinic because they were the only ones that had an X-Ray available that day to pick up my results. I talked to the X-Ray tech who did my scan, though. I asked for advice about the program, and she told me that she's actually in the program too, albeit at a different school. She's a limited X-Ray tech, meaning she can only do some things, but I'm happy she's taking the next step in her career. She noted to review anatomy and something else I can't remember :( , but that everything else I will get by being hands-on. I forgot to do some basic forms stuff on another platform we use, so I went ahead and finished those because they are due next week. For the photo submission for IDs, I decided to use my old photo from my current job. My thought process was that I don't want to have another photo ID taken unless I'm a certified X-Ray tech. Just some manifestation hooey to keep me going. And no, I haven't taken my drug test yet. I know some of you are probably thinking, "JUST DO IT YOU DON'T EVEN DO ANYTHING," but a man can be scared, you know.
I talked to another fellow cafe frequenter today. She's a nice, self-assertive, middle-aged lady. We talked about our situations, mostly about mine. I told her about being depressed, lonely, and getting out of a 4-year relationship last October. She gave me some advice and suggestions. One of them was to, instead of wallowing in pity, keep pushing, continue on with life; to do things that I enjoy. I told her I liked reading, eating good food, and going to the gym. She suggested trying some of her hobbies, which included going on walks while saying positive affirmations and gardening. I've always been interested in gardening, so I think I'll try it out. With my current living situation, it might be difficult, but I'll give it a shot. I used to walk on this trail next to my neighborhood almost every day, so I think I'll pick it up again. She likes cutting shapes out and junk journaling, so she gave me this little heart, which I've taped to my laptop.
Now, about Star, I really don't know, man. Girls just perplex me. It's like, she'll talk to me so often during her shift, asking updates about my test or how life's been, but then there will be moments where our roles are clearly defined: she's an employee, and I'm just a customer. And I know I don't want to pursue anything because I'm still not over my ex, and she just got out of a relationship, but the urge to just say "Hey, I'm fond of you," is so strong. Yesterday we interacted quite often. I was talking to her throughout the time I was there. We talked about our interests, and it was pretty similar, actually. She likes reading, going to the gym, and hiking. I said I like reading, going to the gym, and hiking (if walking a paved trail counts as hiking). I even helped her out by getting the food she ordered from across the cafe. And I have a question for you, reader. She mentioned that I always park in the same place, and the reason why she parks at the other place. Does her remembering where I park mean something or? I'm just confused, dude. As there are positives, there are also negatives. Before she left, I wanted to give her the name of this trail I always used to go to. So while I was taking my test, she asked for an update on whether I was finished yet. I said no, and I immediately asked what time she was leaving. It only occurred to me a few hours after I left the cafe, BUT IT SEEMS LIKE I WAS IMPLYING I WAS TIMING THE LENGTH OF MY TEST TO WHEN SHE LEAVES. FUUUCCCKKKKK. And even when I gave her the card with the name of the trail, it was awkward. Being an imaginative guy (please God don't make me sound like a simp), I was thinking like, if I give this to her, she might ask if we can go together or some shit like that. But instead, she was hurriedly making her way out because she was on the phone, and I just dropped the card on top of this box she was carrying. Great. A real charmer we have here. She might have even faked being on the phone to avoid talking to me :*( So yeah, no progress at all. Also, another reason for having doubts is that she asked this other dude if he was coming here to do homework. I'm not implying "Oh, she can only ask ME if I'm doing homework!" I'm just thinking, like, she might just view me the same as this dude, a customer. I just happen to be a bit more chatty or be here more often. I don't know, man, we'll see where everything goes. I'm stuck here for 2 more years to finish my degree, plus about 6 months to have work experience, before I haul my ass to a different U.S. state. Let's round it out to 3, so 3 more years to see if we have any development whatsoever.
UPDATE: My literature professor responded. He said my expanded version of the claim works, but will not be awarding me the extra point :(
Thank you for everything! - Vim